I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
