I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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