Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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