i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
