shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
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I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
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my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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