dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
