you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
