i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
