id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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