I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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