Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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