i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
