We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
try to milk me bitch
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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