My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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