it wasn't lemon gatorade
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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