He kissed a someone with a penis
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
