i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
