You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
