get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We have started to decorate penises.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
