Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
