guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
