Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
