I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She's the barista slut.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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