dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
