I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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