Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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