Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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