Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
