but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
