smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
