its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Randomize
