1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
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i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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