You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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