I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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