alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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