2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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