Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
