I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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