went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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