Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
