just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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