it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
