I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
