I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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