VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
