people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
