better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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