There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
