Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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