I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
