if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
