the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
