My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize