And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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