How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This house was built for laser tag.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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