I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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