I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
