you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
