The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
