Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
