She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
