please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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