so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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